Love, Life and all that jazz

As my extended weekend draws to a close it is that time again to ask...What am i here for? Why do i need to go to college tomorrow? I guess the answer to the second question is quite easy and can be answered in 2 parts..

1. Attendance is important. Why i don't know but it one of those axioms that nobody dares to question...also u won't be allowed to write the univ's if it less than 75% (maybe that's why nobody questions it).
2. If my folks see me lounging around one more day in my glorious inertness then they might kick me out permanently.

The answer to the first question though is perplexing. I haven't the faintest clue what i am doing here. Infact what are all of us meant to do here. Yash Chopra would say that we are meant to fall in love. I find that a tad stupid not-to-mention foolhardy. What if u fall in love very quickly (Romeo and Juliet fell in love at the age of 13 and then said 'Now that our job here is done lets kill oursleves') then there is really nothing much to look forward to. Dhirubhai Ambani says that we are here to dream and to live upto our dreams. Now that is too trouble-some. I don't want to make a mutli-billion dollar conglomerate just to see it being split by my kids...what a waste of time that would be..shareholder value my foot.

Then there is Rakyesh Omprakash Mehra who thinks that any change that is positive is welcome and that if anyone can bring about that change has served his purpose. I what like to agree with that but the prospect of walking on the streets shouting slogans and then getting beaten up for all my troubles is not really rewarding if u were to ask me. So What is it that i should do? One part of me (the optimist part) thinks that i should do whatever it takes to ensure that my name be remembered for ever...which could be creating a multinational corporation and split it several times over, shouting slogans and getting beaten up for it, or falling in love and killing myself after i do so( though most of my friends would say that's what they all would want to do and by doing so my name is not going to etched in history). Then there is the other part (complacent part) of me which feels that all this is a mere waste of time and that everything u,do somebody else will do it better so that u will be quicly fade away from public memory (yes...somebody will device a better way of getting himself killed after he has fallen in love).

The dichotomy that i am facing is not very easy to explain. Both parts have a valid point and they seem to be fighting for my mind where the winner will guide it to the direction they want take it and thus the purpose of my very existence will be answered. All i can say is "Let the best part win"....though i am rooting for the more complacent part as the optimist's view of life seems to be a lot of hard work.

Wonder Why?

In my opinion one of the most farsical events of the year has to be the Republic Day parade. I can really picture what President Putin must've been thinking during the parade:"I am the one who is going to dictate the energy policies of all of Europe and what the hell am i doing here watching ...what do they call it in english...oh yeah...Floats! All i see is people running up and down this pretty good road...boy why didn't i get to travel on this road today, sought of constipated after going to hyderabad house or is it lucknow house...bahhh who cares, i am not supposed to be speaking english. Back to the floats...got to admit these indians do make colourful floats..it's all very fascinating...fascinating but dull. It's a good thing that the hairy old man...what's his name...oh yeah Kalam...it's good thing that Kalam seems to enjoy all this. I don't know if he will take it the wrong way but i hope he has a haircut i can't even have eye-contact with him, it's quite embarrasing...i mean my mom(where is she by the way?) always told me that a man worth his salt must keep eye-contact..but i am not able to".

As Putin dozes off...he gets a tap on his shoulder from the blue turbanned man," Sir i know this is a little lame but what to do, we have to sure that we have a fiscal deficit, sought of a cover up for all the scams by our alliance members". Putin though visibly disturbed by the blue turbanned man took a few breaths to compose himself and then opens his mouth and whispers "vodka".
"What sir?" enquire BT man.
Putin clears his throat and says," naa nothing" in fluent russian.
"Uhh what?" asks the BT man again now looking a bit annoyed at the translater.
Putin gesture as to say everthing is alright and then thinks :
"Oh god...what have i done..came to sign a civilian nuclear deal and this is what happens.Hey look there is almost 50 men on that bike...WOW! How did they do that. Bet my boys back home can't do this". He looks to his right and wonders," Why is the blue turbanned man always looking down at the guests...and that too at that italian woman" He then turns left and is thinking," Why is the hairy old man...K...a..lam...yeah Kalam...why is he smilling at those jets, wait a minute they are from my country, yea baby....oh no he is looking at me....what do i do..what do i do?? ". He smiles at Kalam who returns the favour,"Phew that was close...Now where was i...oh yea the jets...they are mine what are they doing here".

And in that manner our guest of honour spends his entire day in the republic day parade..and mind u this is not the only such case. Remove the vodka and the jets and we have the predicament of every guest of honour...Jai Hind!

An ode to the chalk!

What? u might ask...why would i dedicate my precious greycells (in my case they r priceless if u go by my last post) on something as insignificant as a chalk!! But that is what makes me different from u pathetic fools (laughing out loud MOCKINGLY)...i see the importance in the little little things in life...actually that kinda makes me a bit of a loser( mocking laughter stops). For me chalk represents a lot of fun in life...it's small..white(not my favourite colour) which signifies peace or inosense and very very light. I have thrown a lot of chalks at other people, at fans, and the odd pigeon and i thoroughly enjoy it. When i do throw chalks it can represent many emotions that are going through my mind...like i throw at people when i want their attention (big attention craver i am...must admit) or just because i am in a look-at-my-accuracy kinda mood or maybe out of shear disgust with what is happening around me and i want people share that disgust(although that disgust is towards me...dunno why though...earthlings!!). Sometimes i throw at people who i feel are a bit low to brighten them up..but this action is usually followed quickly by a few expletives.

There was this one time when i was throwing chalks at different people in class and when i ran out of interesting targets i went for who i can only describe as the 'Holy Grail' of chalk-throwing targets...Lekha miss( president and chairperson of ther Sucky Physics Teachers Union or the SPTU). To be fair what i was trying to achieve was to impress the girls of the class of my dare-devil nature by throwing it over her head. She was busy answering a doubt of a kid(wait a minute.. Lekha answering doubts..there is something wrong here...chal let us just put it down as an abberation). I really can't explain what followed...maybe it was just my hand being tired of all the throwing or my depth perception being grossly inaccurate but the worst thing that could happen..happened..the chalk fell on her shoulder!! She looked up...i was too stunned to look anywhere else but at her (my friends at this point were all ready to point their fingers at me..some friends u would say) . She touched her shoulder (i think it is that response-to stimuli thing) and then glared at us....and then... looked down to continue clearing the kids doubt...phew! Now i know what it means to have ur heart in ur mouth. As it turned out..my act did infact impress the girls..although they said it was a bit stupid...i'll take that.

P.S: my habit of throwing chalks is still as strong as before...only now i don't think girls get impressed by those acts anymore...pity.

Tryst with physics

Let me start of by saying that i was never good at physics (sorry A.O sir...big fan of urs...brilliant man u are...but couldn't get head to tails of what u were saying man). I suppose engineering was not supposed to be the career option for me as it so physics-centric..but lets not go along that road shall we. I suppose my first tryst with physics was at the age of 2. I saw a pond in the premises of a temple and , being the einstein that i was, thought it was a swimming pool and jumped into it!! The laws of hydrodynamics were not very kind to me and i almost drowned had my dad not been around (thanks 'ol chap).

Circa 1989, i was quite fascinated by the pair of openings in the wall and decide to stick a scissor into it. Yes, that opening was the switch plug and yes i got a royal shock...never liked electrical engineering ever since. Between 1989 to 1994 i tried desparetly to prove that superman was no fluke and i tried to jump from everywhere...i have not proved it yet and got a few broken bones in the bargain...but full marks for trying!!Damn that newton...if only a coconut fell on his head instead...think of the number of kids who would not have commited suicide because of him..ah well.

From the aforementioned episodes i am quite sure u must be thinking that i am screwed up somewhere...and honestly even i am beginning to think likewise...

A New Beginning

Quite a few people have come to me saying that my other blog www.contemplationsinc.blogspot.com was a bit too political and highly opinionated...and that i must try to lighten up. Being the reaonable man that i am...i have decided to concede to their demands..but only by creating this new blog....there by putting the other one to rest( to be honest with u i kinda forgot the password of the old one...oopsie). With this i will try to be as simplistic as i can...and more importantly i will hope to be lot more regular. So to all lifeless sould who actually think this blog can be entertaining...let there be light!!