25-11-2003...part II

Somasamudaram:
When we got there we were a bit disappointed...it looked like any other dump...especially considering the trouble we went thru for just getting there.I went straight to the reception counter and explained the intention of our visit (which was to have a free lunch..if there is anything like that nowadays). The receptionist gave me a good nasty look and i bet he was thinking "Duffers! will go anywhere for a free meal...and look at them...where do they get their clothes from??" , but fortunately he was polite enought to say," Sir...your coupon says that only four people can be entertained with it..and you have 6". To which i said, "Not to worry...we will pay for the others". After performing a series of somersaults in the inside he put all his yeras of experience and tried to muster a straight face and said," as u wish sir".

We sat down at a table which was under a tent. The view from there was great..as we had only the sea infront of us...which explains why it was so expensive. We ordered a biryani and lemon juice.We looked at the other items in the menu and couldn't understand head-to-tails of what it meant. We got too embarassed when the waiter told us that they were your average-joe's mallu dishes. The price tag of the biryani gave me minor stroke...with Dasi slapping my back to make sure i was alright. I knew that had it not been for the coupon..i would need to sell my house to afford it. Once the Biryani and lemonade came in ..i closed my eyes like most orthodox westerners do before a meal in prayer..the only difference being that they pray to thank the Lord for the meal..i prayed that i did not have to wash the dishes once we were thru. We began to eat and take photos of each other. Jithz ordered us to eat evey morsel that was left. Dasi went a step further by flicking the odd spoon and fork into his pocket. Fazi was to busy checking out the foreigners..who were in their mid 50's....but there is something about white skin that always sends a tingle down his spine. Since I was really thirsty i had a huge gulp of the lemonade......that i learnt with great pain...was a big mistake. U c in ayurvedic resorts ..fresh lime is considered to be a very good health tonic. So what they do is they squeeze 3-4 whole lime into a glass and hand it over to u. Being a very citrus fruit most normal human beings will find it quite difficult to swallow it completely...and despite what i may claim in my posts..i am quite normal...so that was quite hard to swallow...and the worst part was the juice was so damn expensive that spitting it out was not an option.

For 'Chris'sakes:
Once we stuffed ourselves with everything we got and found out there was no room left...we decided to pay the bill and get the hell outta there. When we paid our bill...Dasi felt that no trip to this neck of the woods would be complete without a dip in the sea...and so we headed straight for the beach. We walked around and checked out more foreigners in their bathing suits..and clicked more photos...the guys went and had a dip in the sea...and we had a grand time.

Our way back was far less confusing as all we had to do was say 'trivandrum'..and they would point to a direction. We got into a bus and headed for Christnagar. Christnagar is the name of a skool which has a baskebtall court which is open for all to come and shoot some hoops. As we are lovers of the free this was one place we would frequently visit. When we got there...Dasi and Fazi remembered that they had to reach home by 6...so they left us. The four of us were shooting some hoops..when the seniors came in and wanted the court for themsleves. They asked VC, Steph and Jithz to stay back...and the others to leave (heyy that meant just me). In a way that was kinda fair..coz i played like crap. After admiring their game for a few minutes the guard over there asked them all to leave the court at once. Steph had to leave to coz it was getting late and his parents did care about where he was at the time of the day. I, on the other hand, had tuition at Kannan Sir's place at about 8, so was looking for something to do to kill time. That was when VC came up with the idea of having an ice-cream at 'Minus-26*'....

Can an Idea change ur life?:
Minus-26 is a nice cozy place where skool folks come to have an ice-cream. It's biggest USP is the fact that u don't have to give ur right arm for an ice-cream and u get to see some good looking girls in the process. After we had ordered our ice-creams...we all started chatting about skool...and the gossip that goes along with it. I must admit that boys are as big gossip-mongers as girls are...the difference being that girls spend less time speculating and more time spreading the word around, whereas for boys it is the other way round. It was when our conversation was flagging that Jithz said," Man...i really want to have snickers'.
I:What u mean??
Jithz: U know that chocolate
I: oh that...u get that in Stylus plus* next door
Jithz: Oh is that so...da lets go and buy it.
I:Ur outta-ya-mind ...that thing cost a fortune (Rs 26 to be precise..but that would have taken the effect away)..how much do u have on u
Jithz: 4 bucks
VC: 3.5
Jithz: and u avi..how much
I:lemme see...i have to go for tuition...so that leave me with....7....no 8 bucks.
Jithz: oh damnit...10 short
I: Yea..too bad...maybe next time
VC: Why next time dude?
I: Coz my bird-brained friend..we are short by 10 smackeroons
VC:..and....
I:And? we can't buy...hasn't arithmetic class taught u anything..
VC: Yea...so what...we go in and take it..
I:we what??? we go in and we take what? the snickers....u mean go in and steal a snickers!!!
VC: yep
Jithz: I second that...i mean the system screws u..lets give it back...This shop overcharges everything....what would a stupid snickers do to their bottom-line anyway
VC: yea man...what we and they do is essentially the same thing..
I: So u think the prospect of us going in there and getting caught and sent to jail for a stupid snickers is the same as overcharging an item they sell in the shop...
Jithz: Oh comeon avi....when do u get to do something really wild...we have no pubs or discos here..this is the only way to express oursleves...let's go for it...
I: U have no idea what ur talking about...this is serious crap ok
Jithz: Well do u have any other ideas....

****to be continued****

25-11-2003..part-1

There are days that u will remember with vivid detail even years after it happened...and as u would imagine this was that day. I know this seems to be a leaf out of Chethan Bhagat's book but i would like to think that mine is a bit different and less screwy than his....although i must confess there are plenty of such screwy days in my life..just that i am in no mood to tell-all about such things. Before i proceed with this elaborate account let me give u a few disclaimers....

1. I live in the sleepy town of trivandrum where rarely anything beyond strikes and protest marches happen that involve mass movement....so for those who were fortunate to live in the metros this may not be so interesting.
2. I was young and foolish (not that much has changed) when these things happened..so i would like to blame all my actions on youthful exuberance (thank god for it).
3. Some names have been changed for anonymity and will have a star accompanied by it....not because it would be cool....cause it will be necessary.
   

So with all that out of the way let me begin....

Prologue:
As u have read already in my previous post (if not what are u waiting for ...read it bugger) i had won a prize for the best team name in the TCS IT quiz. Along with all the goodies(which i think i have lost somewhere) i also had the oppurtunity to take 6 people along with Ajay to a tourist beach side resort in Kovalam called the 'Somasamudaram*'. But that Jackass Ajay took his stupid relatives to this joint leaving me with 6 hungry dudes to take with when i myself can only take 3. As usual i shouted at Ajay and forced him to cough up as much money as he could...and the guy did...a princely sum of 300 bucks. Lemme tell u folks that 300 bucks was really nothing considering the fact this place is sought of a health resort for old,fat, too-much-money-i-can-use the-dollar-note-as-handkerchiefs foreigners. But that was what i got..i had no other choice but to keep my promise (yes of all the vices that i have..one virtue i am pretty proud of is that i keep my word...when ever i give it).

The Teams:
Although i do keep my word.. i had not exactly promised anyone in particular that i would give them a treat...so as a result i had the liberty of calling anyone i wanted and i decided to call 5 of 'em. Naturally pappu was the person to come to mind..but the duffer couldn't come as his folks were too scared that he would drown and die in the merciless sea. The fact that he goes often to Juhu (in mumbai for the unintiaited foreigners who read this post..how pompus am i!) in an intoxicated state nowadays is a different matter...and since they don't know abt it..let us keep it between u and me. So pappu was out...who next? Obviously when u r out to seek some fun u need some pretty wild chaps...so i called the first one that came to my mind ...Dasi*.Dasi is about 5 feet tall....has a mouth as foul as a sewer...and a really cool guy to hang out with..i suppose his invitation could explain that
Me: Hey Dasi! wat up man
Dasi: Nothing man...this f$%#ing Shalini* teacher is breathing dwon my neck man...hate that b%^$h.(told u he had a colourful vocabulary)
Me: hmm...i c...i c( not really seeing anything...all the guy has to do is sit in class)...hey man...lemme help u get ur mind off it...why don't come to this somasamudaram place for a treat..it's on me.
Dasi: ahhh...ok man...wait..lemme ask my folks...
it went something like
Dasi: ma ..i am going to this place in kovalam...ok...
Dasi's mom: huh!
Dasi: ok dude...i am there.
Me: good...oh and bring Fazil with u..
Dasi: sure man...seeya tomorrow(i guess his invitation went the same way)

The others who i had called were jithz*, vc* and steph*. They were already invited for the treat..so only telling them time and place was all that was required...

Hitchin' a ride:
When we all assembled infront of Sree Padmanabha theatre it was already 10:30. A friend of ours who was actually supposed to join us bailed out as he had no money. Noth that the others did either...but this fellow was flat-broke..zilch. Jithz and Vc were loaded in that respect. They came with Rs 6.50 and Rs 4 respectively(sigh! such was the state of affairs of my friends). Now the next thing in our agenda was ....how the hell we get there? wait wait...no...sorry that was not the first problem to solove..the first problem was.....where the hell is this place?

After spending about half an hour asking uninterested working women, perverted men and the odd trans-sexual...we found out where this place is. Getting there was the next thing...and there were no K.S.R.T.C buses heading in that particular direction. Somehow i felt that this was doomed from the start. But we still persisted and finally we got into this rickety old van with it's conductor(?) shouting the name of the junction which was the junction before the junction before the junction where this place was. We got in and found oursleves sandwiched between pilgrims and drunks and what i would call a pretty odd family....but who cares...we were on our way...
****to be continued****